Longlisted for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year 2018 If you had told Helen two years ago that she would be getting up at 6 a.m. on Sundays to swim in a freezing reservoir and spending her Saturday nights unshowered and covered in mud in a pub, she would have spat out her champagne. But when everyone around you starts settling down, what else is a glamorous party girl to do but to launch herself into the world of endurance sport? For someone who didn't even own a pair of flat shoes (and definitely no waterproofs), Helen would soon find she had a lot to learn. Join Helen on her hilarious and soul-searching journey as she swaps a life of cocktail bars and dating for the challenges and exhilaration of triathlons, trail runs, obstacle races, long-distance cycles and ocean swims... and sets herself the seemingly impossible goal of qualifying as a Team GB triathlete.

To Helen Croydon, the idea of marriage and kids has just never appealed. But that doesn't mean she doesn't want to fall in love. Casual encounters don't appeal, yet the shackles of commitment seem terrifying, not to mention boring. So Helen sets out to explore alternative models of relationships to the conventional, monogamous, 24-7, happily-ever-after fairytale. Through immersive reportage, startling new research and tales from her own colourful love life, Helen argues that the de facto cohabiting marriage with 2.4 children is no longer appropriate in our modern, fast-paced world. She finds mounting evidence that more people, like her, are saying 'screw the fairlytale!' and finding alternative relationship lifestyles. Highlights of her mission take in a polyamorous commune in the Scottish Highlands (where she has to carry out a sexual pact), a wife-finding tour to the Ukraine and infiltrating a network of single professional women who've chosen to give up on finding love and get a sperm donor instead. Interviews with psychologists, evolutionists, asexuals, swingers, philanderers, long-term marrieds, mistresses and 40 year old virgins all combine to break new ground in this humorous and insightful guide to sex and love for the modern girl.